How To Overcome Your Fear Of Launching – Episode 43

Melissa: Okay, so Laurie-Ann. 

Laurie-Ann:  been self-diagnosing myself with, are we all symptoms are afraid of everything, shiny object syndrome and lots of procrastination and avoidance. So what I have a tendency to do, what I've definitely done with my membership is I launched it spur of the moment.Like I'm talking a donor and I've done this challenge this week.

I have to offer them something. I'll offer my membership site. Oh, Darren, I need a sales page. But to do that this morning, I have this terrible tendency to do this. And I think the reason why I do this and see some heads shaking is that by making the short,short, like this is ultra short runway, is that now I have absolutely no time to think I have to go left brain and just do and do and do it.

And then because I'm so last minute, like I'd never feel comfortable like saying, Oh, Hey team. Guess what I'm doing? My very first, when I launched my membership , I think I'm pretty damn lucky that I had 25 founders who said yes to me. 

Melissa: Awesome. 

Laurie-Ann: And the second time that I, that I opened the doors, which was, it'll be a year in September.

That was the last time I opened the doors. I think I probably only had like eight people, eight or nine people join.So here it is, it's been a year. I have this fear of launching and I'm just like super cured. Like if, just like, what have you guys done? 

Paul: As far as launching? 

Laurie-Ann:  The fear, like fear I need, I need the prescription for my self diagnosed problems, self diagnosed.

Melissa: All right, this is good. So as anyone want to comment on that,on the fear and can relate

 Paul: Is anybody afraid to raise their hands? 

Heather: What are you scared of that when you say the fear? I mean, I think we all have various aspects of fear, but like what is it that's driving your fear. Cause I think that's helpful to find the answer to your question. 

Melissa: Good. 

Laurie-Ann: Well, I've never actually dove deeper than just to, like why don't I open the doors more often must be afraid of something.

Melissa: And maybe there's the short term? Like why is it always like that last minute type type thing? Is that something you're kind of wondering about that too? 

Laurie-Ann: I think I do that so that I don't have to think about anything even like what prevents me from planning things out and having a longer runway, we just can't do that with a short runway.

Ann: Are you fearing  failure that you might fail? 

Laurie-Ann: Could be, 

Ann: that's usually a common thing. 

Tazeem: Sometimes the opposite is true. 

Paul: Yeah. We talked about this. 

You're afraid of success. I mean, you just said it,you said I was surprised I had 25 founding members. 

Laurie-Ann: Oh, really? 

Tazeem: You need to get out of your head. Sounds like people love what you offer.

I have no idea what you do. We've never met, but I think you and I need to connect because we have so much in common 

Laurie-Ann: we'll do that 

Tazeem: but you might be afraid of the success.I know sometimes I am. It's definitely been a syndrome that I've always ways dealt with. It's like, Oh my God, who am I? Who am I to be successful?

Right. But that's, 

Laurie-Ann: yeah

Tazeem:  that's been me. And it still is these days, some days it's like, I can't do this. I've had so many great things happen.And then I'm timid to even like, I've worked hard for that. And I've been recognized by people in my community. And sometimes I'm timid to even promote it because feel like I'm not humble bragging, but like, Oh my God, she's bragging.

So, but why not? Right. So this is a reminder for all of us here. That it's really great too,because I think when we do, we inspire others to create their success too. Right. Like the candle in the line. Right. Like we don't do my lights when we, when we shine, we actually allow others to shine. So 

Laurie-Ann: I love that. That's beautiful. 

Tazeem: Yep. Yep. A lot of emotion around there. You can hear that now.I know. It's really seriously. It's yeah. I got to get over my own stuff here. Right. I mean, and this is why I come to these calls. Cause I think we learn so much by being vulnerable and allowing ourselves to feel what maybe somebody else is also expressing.

It's really, really powerful part of a mastermind. So I'm,it's funny. I never used to be a vulnerable person ever, but my God I've become so much more vulnerable on this. Since I turned  right. Real like seriously, I think you might be afraid of success, like in a nutshell.

Laurie-Ann: So I guess like one of the things that I was thinking about was that like,what sort of Lauria like, what's your definition of success? Oh, it has to be hard. Like you have to work hard to be successful. And that launch 25 people that was easy. 

Melissa: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Tazeem: Is that group still running? 

Laurie-Ann: Yes. 

Tazeem: Yeah. Well, hello.

Laurie-Ann: My family members are there like the second launch that was a year ago.  I think there's still like one or two people that are still, that are still in there. 

Paul: Anybody else want to give any input? Does anybody else have imposter syndrome or, yeah, go ahead. 

Suzanne: I'm working on a second little launch right now.

And I noticed that I really, it brings up so much anxiety for me to work on the launch.And I have such feelings of self doubt when I'm working the launch, when I'm not working on the launch and I'm working with clients or actually I'm in the process of delivering the material. I feel great about me.

Right. But then when I'm watching it's a, it's so hard. I would almost rather launch late. The other thing that I'm really weak at,and I realize that today is I'm weak at, so let's say at last I, when I launched in the middle of July, I haven't really been in communication with my list that wasn't in the program since then, know, it's like, I went "Hooray" and then I was like, I wait and I'm not like consistently staying on that runway,you know, putting out content no matter what every week.

And so that's why I'm afraid of launching is they've forgotten about me. And so as, I don't know if that's going on with you, but I sort of recognize that that may be in there. At least it is.

 Melissa: Yeah. I would just gonna say, you know, we all have fears and for anyone that says that they're totally fearless.Like I would challenge that because no matter what level of where we are in our business, whether we're just starting out, whether we've been in this for a while, we all are going to experience that fear . And actually I look at that fear as mechanism that helps us to grow because that's really what fuels us that pushes us sometimes.And I think that's where it may be to shift that fear, to look at that in a more of a positive light, that it is something that can feel you, it is something that allows you to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

And you know, again, when you're looking at that fear as something positive, it's not like, Oh my gosh,I'm afraid that makes them maybe he's my bad entrepreneur, because I'm afraid. Like now, like you're afraid because you actually have something that you truly believe and you want to, you want to give to the world, you want to deliver for your people.

So like there is going to be that level of fear, that level of anticipation and excitement. So it's that mind shift of taking that fear and be like,okay, I'm freaked out. But you know what? Like it's because something really good is about to happen because I'm getting ready to try something new. I'm getting ready to present something to people that really need what I have and to work with your fear, not to fight your fear, but to work with it.

So to take that step and just be like,okay, I'm afraid, but you know, I'm just gonna, I'm just going to move forward. And sometimes too, cause that's the thing. Well, okay, well then how do I work with it? It's just the next step. It's that motion. Because a lot of times when we are in that fearful state it's, then we freeze and then we don't do anything,which I know that sounds like it's like, you're like kind of frozen and didn't didn't and then all of a sudden something Springs, okay, I'm just going to do this last minute thing because you're like all of a sudden, just jumping off that, you know, the diving board are ready to dive in.

So it's just that constant motion that's going to help you move through that fear and work with the fear,as opposed to just being like really, you know, adverse to the fear. 

Debbie: I could speak to fear. Yeah. Yeah. Hi guys.

 Arlene: I just wanted to say, I'm glad I'm here. It's my first time with you guys. So I'm excited. My membership is  I I'm on my second one in a sense because I'm moving to a new platform and I think I'm going to have two different types, one for my summits and then one for a membership platform I'm going in another direction other than summits.

And that's how I met Melissa and Paul. They were speakers at my summit. Thank you again for doing that. And as far as the fear and getting things done, I've been through quite a few launches, but they were not my own. So working with somebody and helping them with their launch I guess that helped me get over some of my fears because I've, I I've done it.

And there's always, I always have in mind that something's going to go wrong.Cause it almost always does. And just knowing that you are human and that you're going to push through it is not my number one thing. And then your implementation plan and it pretty much just in very general terms, have that goal,  whatever works for you, whether you write it down electronically or physically, but then putting it on your calendar because that's gonna push you to do it.If you block out a specific time on your calendar and say, okay, no, I have to work on this.

This is what's going to get done. And you just gotta do it.  Don't think too far ahead. Cause that's, what's scary. It gets scary. Just think about that one task, have your task and lists and what you have to have done.And then, okay, it's on my calendar today. I'm doing this. And then on Monday I'm going to do this and mixing, you know, you're almost done and you're like, Oh my gosh, launch date.

I'm ready to go. That's great. So that's where I come from anyways..  

Paul: Debbie, did you want to add too? 

Debbie: Yeah. Yeah. I've been operating from a place of fear, but it's a lot of it had to do with not knowing what to do. Like try to what me, what I need to do, but I still needed the like, okay now how do I do? But like, you guys have each other and you know, you help each other out.I've like all alone trying to figure out the things.

Now you need an email is now you need to, you know, lead magnet and opt in and all that and mixed in what life. It just like took me forever. And I felt like I was getting nowhere fast. And at the start of the quarantine, I says, I have to be consistent as one thing I have to do to force myself so that at the end of the quorum and which I thought was going to be about three weeks and not five months.So I just saw, I did a go live every single night and I've been going live every night and painting.

I just sit there like, you know, these are my paintings. I do a painting a night. I have my friends soft music in the background. I can't tell you how many people send me private messages thanking me that I'm keeping them sane during the quarantine and relieving their stress.So I know I'm on the right track, but still like, you know, okay, how do I turn this?

How do I monetize this? And I just hired a VA. 

Melissa: Oh, good for you.

Debbie:   And just the fact that I did that, I feel so much better. I mean, right now she's probably making as much money as I am what my 11 members.But but already she's like taking my social media off my plate. Cause like I go live on Facebook and that's it.

I don't do anything else. Some Melissa arrived was in "Instaposts". I can't tell you how many months. And it just sat there. And I, and so many other things I need to do this. I need to learn how to do this.I need to want, and I never got the chance to learn and implement, learn and implement. But now that I have somebody helping me, it's forcing me to move forward.

And I will say now that my membership is like eight or nine months old and I have like eight to nine months of video tutorials from different painting lessons. I'm realizing I could turn this into a course into like a signature course,you know, maybe for like three or $400 or something. And it maybe Uplevel it with VIP one on lessons with me.

So now I'm realizing the potential. I feel like even though I'm moving at a snail's pace that I've been building my foundation and you know, as I go forward, I still want to grow my membership. Right now my baby goal was I launched 50 members this way.At least I'm bringing in, you know, a thousand, $1,300 a month or whatever.

So I don't have to, I could get it off from my brain that I got to get more members. I got to get more members, you know, and then I could focus on the next thing and go after that.

Paul: I love it. I love it.Right. 

Jason:  Laurie-Ann quick question from a completely different angle potentially.

Do you actually enjoy what you do in your membership or do you feel like it's a dilution of the work that you actually do one-to-one and do you consequently think for actually you're running a membership path to some degree because you think you have to,or because it's something that you think people want, consequently, because it's not front of mind as being the thing that you wish to pile your energy into.

You're kind of on the back foot feeling that may be, it just kind of gets pushed to the end all the time. And I just wonder about that as being part of the fear aspect in the,maybe it's actually something else completely different in that you just don't really feel it's "the thing".

Laurie-Ann:  I thought that might be it, But I love doing like when the monthly Q & A calls or office hours that I do, I just like fall in love with it all over again.

And so one of the things that I think was the problem is that the engagement in the group and there's the lack of community.So I'm actually in the process of doing interviews with everybody as to what do you love? What do you want, what would help you move forward? And there's been a lot of requests for networking and more just group networking and like one-on-one calls with people to sort of facilitate that.

So that's that, thank you very much.That's a very powerful question. 

Paul: It's yeah. Yeah.

Jason:  Cool. 

Paul: Thank you, Jason. 

Melissa:  I think Laurie, you're not alone. So I think that a lot of people brought this up. So it's just a matter of kind of thinking about some of the things that people have said about this with that fear piece,because it definitely is something beyond the launch itself, you know, and then it's just a matter of, I loved with Arlene said is like, maybe it's a matter of, of systems that you need in place to help you kind of get that move on.

And then also just a matter of going back to your why as to why you're doing this to begin with to help you push you through that fear too. 

Thank you. 

Paul: Should I not add anything? I think each of us, again, neurolinguistics pain, pleasure, reward consequence. Right? So I think anything that we have that we self-sabotage, and we trip up each one of us, when you just label it fear, there's actually deeper  rooted elements that are either life experiences or things from childhood or previous relationship or something else.That actually is like the root of why we make the decisions or not make the decisions that we are in the current state of.

And sometimes we have to go a little deeper to find out, even when Melissa and I first started dating and she came into the business, she had some money wounds from her previous relationship and I was very open like, Hey,this is how much money we have coming in is what's going on? Don't spend money a couple of weeks from now because we got a dip coming.

Like I've been self employed my entire adult life. I know the peaks and valleys and like how to look ahead. And she was used to like the corporate, like, okay, the money's gonna be there every,like, you just don't talk about the money. You know, I was like, no, I'm not talking about from a negative standpoint.

 And also when I had my real estate company years ago and you know, in the bubble, when I say it in a amendment, like a hero story, like, Oh, I had over 200 agents,it's like, there's a constant attrition, right? There's a lot of interviews. There's a lot of great people that, you know, very intelligent, very smart people that would come in.

And they were just like, be in inaction state that perfectionism, that worry that state or whatever. And it was all for different, different reasons. And then you would have somebody that would be coming in the sec,same day. They didn't have the intelligence, they didn't have the sales skills. They just didn't know any better.

And they just did it. Like they just, they just did it and they became really successful. And everybody's looking at that book, hold on, they're not intelligent. They, they didn't know how to sell, like what's going on.This doesn't make sense. I'm better than them. They didn't know any better. They just did it.

Right. So sometimes we have these internal limiting beliefs that each of us just label it fear. And sometimes it could be again that the need's already talked about it. The fear of rejection is huge. Like people just, you know, you're putting something into the market,you feeling it's going to be, you personally, it's being rejected.

When people decide what could be just the offer, what you're providing to the world. Maybe it's just not language correctly. Maybe it's not in front of the right often audience correctly. Like there's, there's elements that you can twist and change so that it's in line. But then sometimes again,the opposite you're afraid of success, which means is, Oh crap.

I have people now I have responsibility. Now I have to show up. Like, I didn't want to do self-employed stuff and have to like show up. Like I did this so I could sleep in and be inconsistent and go out and walk the dog and hike and do these up.Now I'm going to show up every Wednesday at 12 o'clock. I don't want to do that.

You know what I mean? Like we self sabotage and, and in some cases also it is that imposter syndrome where, you know, you do your thing very, very well. And you, your friends, your family, and maybe your immediate peripheral people,like they believe in what you do. And then you're, you're in a sense of vulnerability.

You're putting yourself out into the open market, especially this year with everything going on, people are being very vocal about things they don't agree with. And like, everybody's afraid to put an offer out there. You know, just the, the reaction in some cases.But at the, at the end of the day, I would definitely would love you to like go in like little bit deeper to find out what that is.

Cause if a lot of us, and this is the analogy I use a lot is that it's like going into the grocery store and you're you have the cart and you're driving through and you're getting something.And then it's like a brick wall, you know? Like your cart stops suddenly. Boom. Right. And that's what happens to a lot of us in our business.

We get hit with this huge brick wall and that's how, and then we sabotage, we didn't, it's a fricking little pebble that stops that cart. It's the tiniest thing, guys,when you're in the food store, it's like, you know, whatever stops it, it's the smallest little thing, but man, that'll, that'll just stop us in our tracks.

That'll sabotage us, that'll create stress at home. And that's the thing that each one of us, when you say the word fear, some of you might have a non supporting spouse in your household.And they're looking at what you're doing as a hobby or waste of money or your, or distraction. And they want you to get the real job again and blah, blah, like fear could be a lot of different things, you know?

And it's that deeper element. And they're like, how can you get over that so that you can move forward.But a lot of times it's a small little thing and it's like a broken record. It'll just always skip on that same spot. And you kind of, it's like an NLP thing or, you know, Tony Robinson, you gotta like scratch the record, create a new pattern, you know, and that way you can play a different tune and move,move forward.

Thank you for being vulnerable and open though. And talking about this. Cause I think all of us in our own ways, we have the thing that we sabotage ourselves on.  I would not show up on this call on time. If Melissa didn't control our calendar, because she tells me every day, what time I'm doing what. 

Because that's my weak point. I would also say just last for, for each of us is sometimes it's because you love your thing. You do really well. You just don't want to be the sales person. You don't want to be the manager of people you don't want to be. So I would definitely talk about a couple of times, I'll get the book,the E myth revisited, and I'd read that back, back and forth to figure out maybe you're the technician or you do want to do the thing with your people.

Like you might want to be the person you want. You might want to own the company and own your own salon, but you still want to cut hair and you want somebody else to worry about how to get the lights turned on every day and that you might just need to surround yourself with other components because not all of us truly want to be an entrepreneur.We just enjoy what we do so much.

And we actually don't want to listen to anybody else, you know? So that's why we want to buy her and own our own thing. So, sorry. I know that took time. 

Laurie-Ann: No, thank you. And Melissa, let me know when the recordings are available. 

Melissa: Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much.And thanks. Thanks for opening up to, cause I know that's, it's it's I mean, we all go through it and just, we don't talk about it enough and I think it's important.